GOP Releases Secret Obama Weekend Itinerary

President Obama and the Lesser Prairie Chicken.

President Obama and the Lesser Prairie Chicken.

The GOP has released a super secret weekend itinerary of President Obama today. An anonymous source (GOAL Advocacy) apparently found the schedule while rifling through some papers out back of the EPA offices in Washington D.C. but details are sketchy. Or it could all be made up, or it could be the hottest story since Watergate.

The schedule reveals some comings and goings that are quite controversial and shed some light on what the GOP calls President Obama’s real “agenda”. On the other hand, it is hard for those who are mental midgets (I mean Little Persons) to decipher President Obama’s real agenda being regularly confused as many wingnuts are all the time by the likes of Faux News and that bloviator in chief, Oxycontin Limbaugh.

Regular Americans just go to the White House Web site to read the actual agenda of the Obama administration as opposed to the made-up version by so-called conservatives. But some people like to be spoon-fed “news” that caters to their prejudices and preconceived notions. Or not.

Here is the controversial Super Secret Weekend Presidential Schedule:

Saturday
8:45 am Golfing and Google lesson with Louie Gohmert (R-Texas). Gohmert to give up Congressional pay to help pay for renewed White House Tours. Blue Room Closed Press
9:15 am Long Hot Shower
10:00 am Meeting with Saul Alinsky School for Community Activism president Che Rivera and Kansas Board of Education members. Closed Press
11:15 am Lunch with Willie Nelson and Matt Drudge. Closed Press
12:15 pm Trip to local Dunkin’ Donuts & Baskin Robbins. Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
12:45 pm Meeting with John Boehner about Congressional whine and cheese budget. Oval Office Closed Press
1:15 pm Meet and greet with Hawaiian Kona Bud Coffee Growers and rapper Snoop Dogg. Closed Press
2:00 pm Trip to local Ben & Jerry’s. Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
3:00 pm Boards Air Force One for Iowa Campaign event for Hillary in 2016. En route secret meeting with Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on joining together to kill immigration reform and ban all Assault Weapons in return for approving Keystone XL Pipeline. Closed Press
6:30 pm Arrives in Iowa. Tarmac meeting with Senator Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa) about expanding Medicaid for all Iowans instead of just some in lieu of Obama Care, speaks at Iowa DNC event about Hillary. Pooled Press
10:00 pm Arrives at White House South Lawn.
10:30 pm Meets with “The View” producer asking for less focus on ears, more focus on winning smile. Oval Office Closed Press
Sunday
9:14 am Appears on SOTU with CNN’s Candy Crowley to deny meeting with “The View” producer. Cameo with Diane Feinstein (D-CA) to change color of government black helicopters to sky blue to match coming UN action on total US gun ban and confiscation. Open Press
10:00 am Attends Universalist Islamic Church service. Meets on sideline with Imam on ways to introduce sharia courts to US. Closed Press
11:15 am Meeting with Dennis Rodman on policy issues and North Korea and how to combat the rise of right-wing White Supremacy groups in the US. Blue Room Closed Press
12:30 pm Long Hot Shower.
1:15 pm Meeting with Mitch McConnell (R-KY) about merits of turtle neck sweaters versus more traditional neck ties and the joys of a second term. Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
2:00 pm Meeting with Palestinian activists to decide on what kind of bus to throw Israel under. Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
2:45 pm Screening of “Secret Service Gone Wild”. The Family Theatre Closed Press
4:00 pm Working dinner with United Socialists of America and the Freedom From Religion Union. Closed Press
5:30 pm Beyonce’ visits Oval Office as a Grown Woman to discuss sexism and who is prettier, her or California AG Kamala Harris. Oval Office Closed Press
6:30 pm Very Long Cold Shower.
8:15 pm Meeting with Global Warming expert Al Gore and Jim Inhofe (R-OK) about final implementation of Carbon Tax in 2014 and ending all US oil company subsidies by 2015. Oval Office Closed Press
9:15 pm Meeting with Hollywood producers about debut of legacy movie in 2016 starring Seal Team Six. On location in Benghazi, starring former VP Joe Biden as Admiral Joe Everyman aboard the aircraft carrier USS Mission Accomplished. Oval Office Closed Press
10:30 pm Meeting with New York Riker’s Island officials about moving all Guantanamo prisoners to Cell Block I. Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
11:00 pm President Obama pardons Lesser Prairie Chickens with Steve Pearce (R-NM) in attendance, and directs the EPA to list them as a protected species and delicious. East Room Pre-credentialed Print Pool Only
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Michael Hess

Michael Hess

I started writing and editing BBSNews in 1990. Before the 'web, back in the Bulletin Board System (BBS) days. My pursuit of factual and reality based information informs my worldview. The ever evolving BBSNews contains New Mexico news, national and international news, politics, space, foreign policy and in particular; news and facts about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. See our About Us page for more details.